i am what i am.. and i'll stay sludge..

..for the past few years i've always had these horror and nightmares that haunt me.. i can't kill those memories and i dunno why,try to forget about what has happen is hard,but i'll try,keep trying and try until i finally made it.. those whispers that i've heard,those times that i've spent with you..is just another empty moments,i'll forget those stuffs we ever did,the moments that we cheer for.. without those memories,im useless and weak..but for sure,i can carry all those burden,those sarcastic words u ever sent to me.. and not even one word i've replied.. im useless from the beginning,the beginning of my life,the beginning where i open my eyes and see the world,im not making this up.. its on the tip of my tongue & each time i saw the sunset goes down.. i feel like u were there,right next to me.. those moments when were watching movies together,u hold me tight and put my hand into ur tummy,so that i can feel the warmness that u've kept... when this all came to my memories,its hurting me deep inside.. i feel like its killng me.. its taking my life slowly.. it ate my hope,courage,pride and my heart... the heart that i kept for you.. is no longer to be needed.. its full of hatred,vengance and anger..


to be continued.....